Tuesday, January 24, 2006

baaaaadddd habits...

so now that I'm merely waiting until I go back to school, I find that what tends to happen is that I get really, really bored. SO when I get bored, I go into the kitchen. And when I go into the kitchen, I find something to do. and that something to do normally includes food.

the strange part is that it seems to include alot of baking . So, really not such a hot thing. Nor is it all that good since my mother seems to think that it's a really great idea to give me all of her Food and Wine magazines. The most recent one that she gave me was the chocolate issue.

damn her....I know that she does it because I've been baking all of these lovely sweet and tasty treats, but all in all...damn her. She's hooked me line and sinker. I mean just look at that. I certianly can't say no to such a lovely chocolatly-peanut-buttery-gooey filled confectio/cake? can you? [and if you can - you're lying to yourself]

anyway... the point. 'twas my birthday yesterday, so I took stock (if only breifly) to determine what in the hell is actually going on.

  • Me: 29. Female. 5'10.5" (1.77 meters) weight...decline to state but embarrasing all the same
  • Location: same as ever (christ...even in the freakin room that I was nursed in....this can't be good)
  • Prospects: not really looking, and not even sure of what prospects I should be looking for.
  • Relationships: many, and all still fruitful, insightfull, friendly and happy. ( i hope)
  • Hobbies: Cooking, eating, sharing my baked goods...uh...waiting for world peace to break out.
  • Reverse Obit written?: nope. Don't like to think about it... too morbid.
  • Life's goal?: uh... well this one is a tough one. Because at first I thought that it was going to be grow up to be a astronaut. ( I was 5) then it changed into being a world famous actress... (I was 13) then it changed into a succesful Lawyer (I was 19) now... well now I'm not even sure If its a good idea to have a life's goal in terms of a professional carrer. So I'm going to word that last question..... shitty one anyway.
  • Number of Life's "must-do" items checked off: uh... I think about 5 or 6 of them. Actually I make up the list as I go. I still think getting to meet Archbishop Desmond Tutu still ranks higest and that one was a complete chance accident.
So when I look back at the previous years, most of it results in alot of wistful memories of when I was somewhere with someone doing something I probably should know better than to be doing, (at least in public.) Which when you take account of it shouldn't be all that bad. Actually I'm very proud of what I've almost accomplished and what I have been able to do.

This was going to be a long and drawn out sob-fest...poor me, nearly 30 and still going nowhere with nothing to show. But I actually do have alot to show for, the only difference is that now I have a tad more perspective than I did have approximately a year ago. I'm thankful for the chance to sit on my ass now, although I know I'm far from being done with not sitting on my ass and really spending more time in my life apologizing for being an ass (and most likely in public.) And as a "prospect" per-se, that doesn't seem so bad.

Because they're only called "Bad Habits" if someone else didn't get jealous while you were caught doing it.