"When your significant other tells you you're pretty, or beautiful even, you assume he's saying that because he thinks he should and not because he believes it. Not because you're self-deprecating or have low self-esteem or anything else; you can accept all other compliments from him, about being smart or funny or whatever, and you can even smile and say thank you when he says you're pretty, but you don't internalize it the way you do other compliments, you don't really believe it, because how could it be true?"I realize that it may be hard to understand, but for a lifetime of being told that you aren't worthy of anything because of your size, its difficult to even put into words what you deal with everyday. The awful thing about it is that I am truly fearful, that my daughter will be stuck in a world where the potential for her weight far 'outweighs' her potential in any other venue. I've been overweight my entire life, and although I promise myself that my daughter won't have a 'fat mommy' I can't delude myself into believing that I'll ever be 'thin.'
Genetically I've been blessed with broad shoulders, long muscular legs, a wide-torso (aka big boobs), and these things are truly blessings... but to the rest of the American public they are curses. Although I'm almost 6' tall, it doesn't make up for the rest of the 'heft' that I've inherited from my heritage of peasant farmers, (on both sides.) Ironically I'm better suited to survive almost anything that nature can throw at me due to these blessings, but according to modern day media, I'm a freak because I weigh over 200 lbs.
ugh. this is horrible. There are times when I wish blinders were available in human form.