got cut.

again.

it's unbelieveable. these past two weeks have been just that - strangely unreal. It seems like I can't break through the 2 year celing. I'm not really mad, but I still wanted to be the one to say "Fuck you" and then walk off in a huff, rather than it being the other way around. I know tht its hypocritical to say all of this considering that I have been looking for work since this past friday (last week) and that I've got interviews lined up, but its still something that kinda hurts.

you feel slighted. like the ugly one in high-school again. like no one likes you, or that maybe you've done something to make the popular kids turn against you.

and it sucks.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that they're okay after they just get laid off/fired/let go. It still hurts. It won't ever not hurt. I'm beginning to get convinced that maybe this isn't the profession for me. I've got shell shock now from all of the blows that keep coming my way. Every 3 months I get scared...I back everything up. Print all that I can out. Take immediate stock of all of the items that are within my reach that aren't nailed down...every time. And it always seems to happen right about the time that I get complacent. I get comfortable. It has never failed. Every time.

Its not that I liked the job. I couldn't stand it. It is soul crushing. It was daily torture, and with retrospect I'll be happy for the time and opportunity to go back to school that it gave me. Yet in the grander scheme of it all - this was a huge back-step and an emotional slap down that didn't need to happen. Now that I think of it...when I took this job I had another one lined up as well. They were ready to make an offer to me...its just that this job got to me first.

damn.

I want to cry, but I cant. There isn't anything to cry about. I think... No, I know that the ONLY thing that I'll miss are my co-workers. A great lot of people. They are what sustained me and made it bearable to go into that hell. Funny and caring...they were friends. and its rare that I get the opportunity to say that about an office.

fuck. now what.

My Favorite Quote...

We are now faced with the fact that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Life often leaves us standing bare, naked and dejected with a lost opportunity. The “tide in the affairs of men” does not remain at the flood; it ebbs. We may cry out desperately for time to pause in her passage, but time is deaf to every plea and rushes on. Over the bleached bones and jumbled residue of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words: “Too late.”

- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. April 4^th,1976 Address to the Riverside Congregation, NYC.

Firefighters are being missused in the hurricane effor

Goddamnit! you've got the people there - now fucking use them, PROPERLY!!!

As New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin pleaded on national television for firefighters - his own are exhausted after working around the clock for a week - a battalion of highly trained men and women sat idle Sunday in a muggy Sheraton Hotel conference room in Atlanta.
Many of the firefighters, assembled from Utah and throughout the United States by the Federal Emergency Management Agency, thought they were going to be deployed as emergency workers.
Instead, they have learned they are going to be community-relations officers for FEMA, shuffled throughout the Gulf Coast region to disseminate fliers and a phone number: 1-800-621-FEMA......"They've got people here who are search-and-rescue certified, paramedics, haz-mat certified," said a Texas firefighter. "We're sitting in here having a sexual-harassment class while there are still [victims] in Louisiana who haven't been contacted yet.".....Firefighters say they want to brave the heat, the debris-littered roads, the poisonous cottonmouth snakes and fire ants and travel into pockets of Louisiana where many people have yet to receive emergency aid.
But as specific orders began arriving to the firefighters in Atlanta, a team of 50 Monday morning quickly was ushered onto a flight headed for Louisiana. The crew's first assignment: to stand beside President Bush as he tours devastated areas.

taken from the Salt Lake City Tribune

what in the hell...

I have only one word. disgraceful.

Update:

What makes this worse:

As noted here two days ago, the Federal Emergency Management Agency’s decision to ask evacuees to call (800) 621-3362 or browse to www.fema.gov to start the process of filing a claim for disaster assistance.... It turns out, according to the [American Red Cross] worker, who like the other aid workers spoke on condition of anonymity, that the call to the FEMA number does not open a claim; it results in a package containing the claim form being mailed to the address of the evacuee.

Since the evacuee is in a shelter, mail service has been suspended in many of the hardest hit areas and some of the homes are likely still under water, it seems clear that those claim forms won’t be mailed back any time soon.

Taken from Katrina Blog on MSNBC.Com

WTF!?!?!

Give what you can

American Redcross The grandaddy of donation organizations

Acorn is : Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, is the nation's largest community organization of low- and moderate-income families, working together for social justice and stronger communities

A Network for Good includes a list of other local organziations who could use your help

And even more info from The Blogsphere: The Fug Ladies...


p.s. all family accounted for...its been a long week. My faith in humanity is renewed, and we shall all pull through this.