ugh...I have a cold. I should be home in bed, but I spent most of yesterday in my bed just sweating out this damn cold.

I hate being sick, if only because there is this feeling that I have rely on others to help me. I hate that feeling more than anything else. I know that I have control problems. No amount of time will be able to change that I say that now and I don't suspect that Its helping me get any better.

New Topic: Reality TV...I never thought that 12 years ago the small genre that was MTV's "Real Worls" would mushroom into the atomic disaster that it is today. As of today (January 10th, 2003) there are currently 20 reality TV shows out there (rough estimate) half of them I've never even watched (okay I have watched a good majority of them) and the other half are a guilty pleasure that I feel I shouldn't be indulging in. Its beginning to feel like bear-baiting. "Lets throw these 20 unsuspecting women at a 28 year old man whom it posing as a millionare when really he's living at the poverty line." what the hell kinda show is that, yet I'm absolutely riveted and locked into my television. Or there is the newest one where we move away from the "regular-joe" reality into the B stars. The surreal life is a horrible train wreck waiting to happen. But I can't look away. I feel like I'm going to burn out my retina's if I watch. but....I.....just.....cant......look......away