Wednesday, December 08, 2004

..::Pimp Juice::..

..::Pimp Juice::.. That's right...You heard it...Pimp juice. From none other than Nelly...

I wish to high heaven that I were joking, but I am not. The fact that it has been brought to my attention by my boyfriend...who noticed it at a strip club vending machine, (I'll explain later...) And then later was able to find it in liquor stores along the 6th St. Corridor in San Francisco. I am scared. No, I am insulted. (for those of you who may not know, the 6th St Corridor is considered a "bad" part of town, which is in the process of gentrification, but is still very much the 'loin.) He has gone so far as to purchase several novelty cans. I was ready to assume that was it. But Lo! to my dismay it wasn't. Pimp Juice has a website AND merch. Must have items like the "I am a P.I.M.P (positive, intellectual, movtivated, person) T-Shirt. T-shirt my ass, no intellectual individual would intentionally buy this item other than for the kitch factor, because that is all this is going to end up as. I only wish that it ended there. But it doesn't.

I am so sorry, and saddened for the future generations when they have G*D damned NELLY offering them P.I.M.P. scholarships. that's right, you heard me correctly P.I.M.P scholarships. WTF!? Are you going to tell your parents when $5000 suddenly appears in the mail with PIMP Juice emblazoned all over it? I am sorry, but there is no self respecting individual who would ever willingly complete and enter that contest only to face the ridicule and aftermath of actually having won a "PIMP" contest. Convince yourself that its only money, and you are not only selling your soul for an un-original, degrading, mindless, 15 second fad/ad that by tomorrow will leave you cold and in the fetal position crying in self-pity, but you are making yourself out to be the whore NELLY wants you to be.

Beyotch, where my money!

2 comments:

D.T. said...

LOL...I dont know if I've fallen under Nelly's pimp spell or what...but I wanna try that drink now...HAHAHA! Now its all your fault Kizzy, for introducing me to Pimp Juice! LOL...

kizzy said...

truthfully I've been told that I thought this over much too much, an I probably did. But still...last thing I want to do is to be someone's trick....

Besides I'm supposed to be makin my otha beyotches walk the track...so de can be gettin me mah monna!!!

(i can't even keep a straight face typing that.)