..::Pimp Juice::..

..::Pimp Juice::.. That's right...You heard it...Pimp juice. From none other than Nelly...

I wish to high heaven that I were joking, but I am not. The fact that it has been brought to my attention by my boyfriend...who noticed it at a strip club vending machine, (I'll explain later...) And then later was able to find it in liquor stores along the 6th St. Corridor in San Francisco. I am scared. No, I am insulted. (for those of you who may not know, the 6th St Corridor is considered a "bad" part of town, which is in the process of gentrification, but is still very much the 'loin.) He has gone so far as to purchase several novelty cans. I was ready to assume that was it. But Lo! to my dismay it wasn't. Pimp Juice has a website AND merch. Must have items like the "I am a P.I.M.P (positive, intellectual, movtivated, person) T-Shirt. T-shirt my ass, no intellectual individual would intentionally buy this item other than for the kitch factor, because that is all this is going to end up as. I only wish that it ended there. But it doesn't.

I am so sorry, and saddened for the future generations when they have G*D damned NELLY offering them P.I.M.P. scholarships. that's right, you heard me correctly P.I.M.P scholarships. WTF!? Are you going to tell your parents when $5000 suddenly appears in the mail with PIMP Juice emblazoned all over it? I am sorry, but there is no self respecting individual who would ever willingly complete and enter that contest only to face the ridicule and aftermath of actually having won a "PIMP" contest. Convince yourself that its only money, and you are not only selling your soul for an un-original, degrading, mindless, 15 second fad/ad that by tomorrow will leave you cold and in the fetal position crying in self-pity, but you are making yourself out to be the whore NELLY wants you to be.

Beyotch, where my money!